We've all said things that we don't mean in times of anger, frustration, pain or sadness. We've all had moments of hitting our breaking point where we just explode. We have all hurt people we love and care about with our words at one point or another. It's part of being human. Of course humbling yourself enough to apologize is a good first step in rectifying what you said, but becoming consciously aware of the power of your words is life changing.
To Build Up or Tear Down
Words literally have the power to build someone up or tear them down, regardless if the person you're speaking to says that you don't have that power over them.....you do. Here's the reason why: people who you have any type of relationship with will always live up to what you repeatedly say to them. It's part of the innate power of the subconscious. Words spoken plant a seed in the subconscious and will grow when repeatedly heard. Our subconscious dictates our thought process without us even knowing it; which in turn is shown through action.
That means that if you continually and consistently say something over and over that person will start believing it and act that way towards just you or in general throughout their lives. Our words have the power to set the standard of how we expect people to be in our lives; set it low and that is what you will receive.
For example a child that is told that they are a loser out of anger from a parent, and are told this repeatedly every time the parent lashes out will start to believe that they are, in fact, a loser. Not only does this cause emotional disorders in a child, but it paves the subconscious path that he will be set on in his relationship with his parents and his perspective of himself in general; which will have a huge impact on decisions he makes in his life. Whatever a child five years old or younger hears is literally developing the neurological connections and pathways in the brain, molding their behaviors and thinking patterns.
If that's not enough to be convinced, just recently, in Massachusetts a 20-year old girl was sentenced to 2.5 years in prison for manslaughter for encouraging her boyfriend via text messaging to commit suicide; which he ultimately followed through with. It's the first sentence of that state to sentence someone to prison for words. Even the justice system has recognized the power of words with intent or not.
Say it Enough and You will Start to Believe it
A distinct fact about the brain is that it cannot tell the difference between something that is real in actuality or something that you are just telling it. If you tell yourself or say out loud something enough you will start to believe it, even if you didn't mean it when you said it or were just angry. Whatever the circumstances are, it doesn't matter. Whatever you say out loud or to yourself repetitively you will start to believe; even more so when you say it with emotion! Emotion creates momentum which in turn creates internal beliefs.
How to Benefit From This
Now, this is a fact that you can use to your benefit if you start becoming aware of the words that you use on a daily basis. Once you become consciously aware of the things that you say to yourself and out loud on a daily basis you will start to see the fundamental linkage between your words and the type of relationship you have with people and areas of problems in your life.
Tony Robbins and other positive leaders use this term "incantations" as a tool to mold and prepare your subconscious to believe what you want; thus tapping into extraordinary powers and strength that you didn't even know you had.
Incantation is simply the method of chanting or saying something over and over to yourself on a daily basis, and as silly as this sounds, it works. It's a proven method used by many of the world's most successful people who play life at a very high level. Honestly, if you think about it, what can you lose by doing it? The answer is NOTHING. In fact, just by thinking what it is that you would even want to chant to yourself puts your goals and life into perspective.
What you continually tell yourself you are. Set the bar low for others they will meet you at that bar and stay there. Set it high and you give them wings to fly high to that bar. Words have the power to mold, shape, fulfill or destroy any relationship, including the one you have with yourself.
Below are some audio CDs that are a great way to listen to positive talk from Tony Robbins, and some books that I've read by Tony Robbins and other life couches that further explain the power of speaking with intent, the power of your words.
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